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BABIES' NEED FOR SLEEP - SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS All mammals sleep with their young. Most humans do as well. It is only here in Britain and the USA that a notion has arisen that babies can be expected to sleep alone. This is relevant to breastfeeding because you are then not expected to wake in the night to nurse your baby. An ideal baby, according to society, is one that sleeps all night alone. It is not surprising that parents become exhausted and possibly resentful about this, and they are unprepared, when they discover the reality that their baby needs attention during the night. I talked to a Chinese woman who had never been to Europe about the British habit of leaving babies alone to sleep when very young and she said “But the baby would be scared!”. She was genuinely shocked at the idea. Interestingly in a survey reported in our local paper in Solihull last year 66% of parents questioned said they would allow a child into their bed when unwell. I know many parents here do sleep with their babies. They rarely talk about it though, which means that other parents don’t think it is normal and OK, and they struggle on unsupported. If you know that is what a baby will expect you don’t have such a shock when your brand new baby cries when put down alone. I say this so that you know what to expect and that you are not doing anything wrong if your baby does not obediently drop off in its own room as portrayed so convincingly in the advertising we see in this country. The practice of expectant parents preparing a room for their baby before it is born speaks for itself, showing the expectation of our culture that a new baby is instantly ready to be separate from its mother. Appropriately this room is called a Nursery - from the nurse who used to be available to the baby all the time by those who paid someone else to look after their baby and yes, you’ve guessed, to sleep beside it. Breastfeeding needs proximity and certainly for the first few months (or longer if you plan to continue nursing) you can expect a baby to need to feed in the night. If you know that this is normal behaviour you won’t worry when it happens to you. I hope it will also prevent you from spending many fruitless hours pacing the floor in the small hours with a baby who sleeps soundly while you are holding it and wakes like magic as soon as it is put down and you attempt to leave the room. | ||
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CATHERINE HOLLAND Tel: 0701 7415310 Email: catherine@catherineholland.co.uk | |
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